1 . Cousteau said that the Antarctic is an important area on our planet which contains the largest amount of ice on Earth. Ice itself creates/makes a balance between the cold ocean water and the warm tropic water by letting the cold ocean water cool the warmer one and, thus, preventing the temperature from either going up or down. But nowadays, it's getting harder to find this naturally created equilibrium because of the human's factor. [ "Captain Cousteau," Audubon (May 1990):17.] 2.The twentieth was the period in the USA which lots of people symbolize with forbidden usage of alcohol and the increase of crimes committed which police could do nothing at all for a while. It was also the time that represented the new era of music - jazz which had rapidly become known not only in America, but worldwide as well. Such prominent people as Bix Beiderbecke, Louis Armstrong, and Count Basie nowadays are considered to be the real legends and their names refle...
Nikita,
ОтветитьУдалитьyou have schosen to dicusss a very sensitive political issue and considered it from several perspectives, though because of the length of your work you couldn't go deeper into the discussion of the question.
One aspect of your work in need of revision is reference formatting. Here is an example of a correct reference:
Roth, A. “Russia-Ukraine: Tentative Progress at First Talks for Three Years.” 10 Dec. 2019, https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/dec/10/russia-ukraine-tentative-progress-at-first-talks-for-three-years.
Remamber to use the CitationMachine (http://www.citationmachine.net) if you are not sure about formatting details
Nikita,
ОтветитьУдалитьyou have done a lot of work writing this essay. Can you explain what its purpose is? What did you want to achieve by writing it? It will help me to comment on it
Things to consider:
I'd like to consider it **from two periods > to consider 2 periods in its development
it’s been a subtle but vital progress > there has been
This is a fragment: In particular, the Ukrainian border which is now being held by Russian soldiers who allow people to move from Ukraine to Russia > add the predicate
Articles:
consider Russian annexation
about a certain period importance of this event: not sure what you mean
launched from the part of ART territory
an agreement on prisoner **changes (WW)
1. prisoner EXchanges. Corrected that one.
Удалить2. The purpose of this essay is to demonstrate to people that there is a hope that relations between Russia and Ukraine might be somehow improved and some mutually beneficial agreements can be made. Consequently, the meeting was the very first step to at least find this equilibrium so that relationships can be developed in the nearest future.
3. About the fragment: I've decided to reconstruct the first part of the sentence. Could you check the sentence now, please?
4. Not sure what you meant by annexation. I assume I should add 'Russian'.
5. A certain period: I wrote ' a missile was launched from the part of Ukranian territory controlled by pro-Russian separatists.' I didn't write the word 'art'.
**from two periods > to consider 2 periods in its development- Corrected.
Удалитьit’s been a subtle but vital progress > there has been - Corrected.
I see, thanks. It's become clearer with your explanation.
ОтветитьУдалить5. It's my comment:it refers to article use
Nikita,
ОтветитьУдалитьas I have mentioned before, you have chosen a very difficult topic to consider and put a lot of effort into making it persuasive. The conclusion can be improved, though. Let me remind you that there are special techniques to start and finish your piece of writing in a way that will appeal to the readers. Here is a link to the list: http://writing2.richmond.edu/writing/wweb/conclude.html
Content: 5
Organisation: 5
Mechanics: 5
Language: 5
Referencing: 5